What does it take to just be ok….all the time?
Life is so big! Am I living it? How will I know that I am living life? (maybe when I am not asking that question) This is not a story of pulchritude. I will still find something beautiful to talk about. For the delightful things are what makes people smile. I want to smile. So I will say something beautiful: This life is not about me!
That is such a freeing statement. Then what is this life about? It’s about giving love so that God can be glorified. Yet I don’t feel like I am glorifying God when I keep wanting things for me. I want a new job; I want a guy friend in my life or even a boyfriend; I want friends to enjoy different activities with; I want a new car after successfully selling mine; I want to live on my own apart from my parents; I want to know that I as a woman I am needed; I want to go back to school and get a higher degree; I want to be more consistent, but when this life is not about me I feel like I don’t matter.
But I do matter and I am worth it. I am worth the fight to keep my sanity. There is a great reward for me even now and that is peace. Maybe God wants me to have something now, like joy or self control even contentment, so that when He gives me more things to be responsible for (because all the things I desire come with a greater responsibility than I even know) I will be able to survive, instead getting overwhelmed or stressed out by my blessings. More than that, the blessings should help me to remember God’ s promise that He will never leave me. After many people get the blessings of God, they forget His love, compassion, and grace. I would rather be like David and plead create in me a clean heart, and please don’t take your spirit from me (Psalms 51:10-11).
No worries here. I will keep my eyes on the cross of Christ! AMEN.