Probably better left unsaid

Published April 26, 2012 by vfAith

Dear SB*,

You may not know this, but I have written many letters to you prior to this one.  You may not read this, but this is the last letter I am writing to you.

The past couple of days I have been thinking, praying, and missing you something terrible.  I kept asking God why is he constantly on my mind?  I don’t want to remember his touch or words.  I don’t want to remember his worries or my worries for him.  But each day they just seemed to intensify!  Then, I talked to my bestie.  She told me I sounded like my heart was heavy but I have to just rejoice now for the things God are going to do in your life.

Even though you are not really feeling God now, I have been praying for you so much and for long periods of time.  I want you to know the love of God so you can live freely in this life.  Free from anger, free from worry, free from doubt, free from everything holding you back from walking in this life with your head held high.  I want you to be the king that God has created you to be.  In order to get there you have to face the kid pride, anxieties, and uncertainties.  You are a conqueror. You will over come! You just have to do it humbly under the name of Jesus.  Trust me there is nothing wrong or shameful in the name of Christ.

This letter is not only to encourage you; it is also to help me move on.  I need to have a light heart before I go into another relationship.  I shouldn’t be weighed down because of you.  You aren’t even around to weigh me down.  It’s just time for me to let go.  While I was talking to my bestie, I told her that you don’t even remember me (or at least you don’t remember us).  You developed a coping mechanism to keep you from going crazy with pain from past people.  I just hope you forgive me and the others that have hurt you so that you don’t have just “cope” with the things of this life.  I really want the best for you, yet as I have said in another letter who is wanting the best for me.

You will always be a wondrous memory.  Maybe we will meet again someday.  But today, I have to let you go and trust you into God’s all encompassing and loving hands.  I have always said to God that He must love you a lot to put you on my heart.  He definitely loves you more than I love you.  But it is true . . . I love you. Or I may have loved the you I made you.  That is why I hurt the real you.  Once again, I am sorry.



*changed the name

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